In preparation for Thanksgiving Week, I took the kids to the library after school to load up on reading materials. Nothing says Family Time like Individual Reading Time For Hours On End in Separate Quarters Behind Closed Doors. That's what Thursday is for -- to come up for air and get something to eat.
While at the library, I noticed that an older gentleman/business man dressed in business casual clothes seemed to be following me around the library. He was in the kids section, carefully perusing and gathering books. Then he was in the adult fiction, still looking for more books. It seemed that everywhere I went HE went. Granted, it IS a public library and there is no rhyme or reason for the order in which one culls their book selection for their quiet time. I was there, he was there. I was here, he was here. Everywhere he was constantly shuffling books.
I kept thinking that, well this is different. I've never had anyone normal hit on me. They're usually homeless or weird or want to talk about urination habits or talk about where they went to high school 16 years ago. After 30 minutes of this surreptitious cat and mouse game, it dawned on me that he probably either worked at the library or was a volunteer at the library. That...makes way more sense. Actually it would make more sense if he were performing community service hours at the library by reshelving books. That's the type that usually deems me the recipient of their awkward and uninvited pick up lines. I thought I still had "it," but I must have stuck it in the middle of a book and turned it back in to the library. Maybe older businessman will find it and put it back in the 957 section of the Dewey Decimal System.
I could write a novel on all the idiotic conclusions I've reached and the boneheaded acts I've performed in public. Trying to get into the wrong car, trying to order parts from a completely different dealer than the car I drive, ripping the mirror off the side of my car, burning things to the bottom of a stock pot not once but twice (1. apple sauce; 2. rice pudding), thereby ensuring two weeks of soaking and scrubbing. I'm alive at least, right? I still have that?