Thursday, January 24, 2013
So this means...no?
I'm really just messing with you, Kellogg's. It's all in good fun! Is it hard to string together such a professional reply for such nonsense? But seriously. MAKE THEM.
To whom can I write and request something next?
Not long ago I submitted a request for Iced Lemon Pop Tarts, which has long been a fantasy of mine. Delicate pastry, tangy lemon filling, a white icing covering it all, sufficiently eliminating the need for butter or jam. I received a lovely reply back from your consumer inquiry department, but I have yet to see any Iced Lemon Pop Tarts appear on shelves at my local grocers. As you have probably guessed at this point, this has caused me great consternation.
My question is, how long can I realistically wait until I see my dream come true? You needn't pay me for this ground-breaking culinary concoction, either. You have all the equipment, so I say bake and fill and ice away. I don't even need credit. Not even a teeny tiny "Idea courtesy of Rachel" printed at the bottom of the box. You can take all the glory. You could, however, compensate me in Iced Lemon Pop Tarts.
I thank you for your time and attention to this urgent manner. I look forward to seeing Iced Lemon Pop Tarts in the near future. Like by summer, you think? That's kind of what I was thinking, too.
All the best,
Thank you for writing to our company to offer your assistance in the creation of new ideas to support our business. While we certainly appreciate your enthusiasm, we regret that we are unable to accept ideas that come from sources outside of our company.
We receive almost 10,000 unsolicited proposals each year, both from our consumers and other business concerns. Like most other manufacturers, we have established this policy because it is impossible to review, document and follow-up on all of these ideas. We realize that we may, on occasion, miss a good opportunity. However, we believe that our own employees, as well as the agencies we have under contract to assist us in this effort, form our best idea generation resource. We hope that you can understand our position on this.
All of our employees are devoting a great deal of time and effort to develop new and improved products, packaging concepts, promotions and merchandising ideas to make our products the best on the market. Often, these concepts are in the developmental stage for years before actually being launched. As you see, we place great emphasis on this part of our business and hope you will agree that we are on the right track here.
We certainly appreciate your patronage of our brands through the years, and your offer of assistance. It is because of the support of our consumers, like you, that we have remained successful in what has become a very competitive environment. We hope that our products will continue to meet the needs of you and your family for many years to come.