I became a real boy this weekend and bought a trifle bowl. I schlepped it down to Bed Bath and Beyond because I still had a gift card from my birthday. I love free money. So if there's any store that makes me feel the absolute most inadequate, it's Bed Bath and Beyond. It's an assault on my womanhood as soon as I walk in. They should just put a sign out that says, "You'll never measure up. Why do you even have a uterus? Fat lot of good that's doing you." The kitchen section alone is an exercise in sensory overload. I couldn't process everything on display or even begin to figure out how I would use 95% of it.
Sadie and I snaked our way back to the trifle bowl section and chose from the vast selection of two. We picked the one with the prettier pedestal. As I was taking it from the shelf, I was overcome with estrogen and thought, This is it! I'm finally a woman! This is what it feels like! I also purchased a flour sifter. Not just a strainer/sieve that I bang against my hand and with which I just "make do." No. Making do days are over. I got the old school kind that has the squeeze handle and pushes it through the sieve at the bottom, leaving me to ponder other womanly endeavors. I'm a real woman now. I deserve squeeze handles for my flour. Here is the trifle in all its glory.
Look out, high society. I'm coming in.
Me (feeling guilty): "Is it okay if I use the dogs as pillows? I have one under my leg and one under my arm."
Chris (always trying to find their worth): "They should be useful for something."
Since I don't have
Me (WHAT??): "No, I did not want the Adults Only section."
Chris (trying to decipher the logic of eBay): "Maybe they thought you meant 'Nudes in Sandals.'"
Me (gross): "eBay is a perv."
I didn't find any I liked. I created a daily search for it. Should be interesting.
I just knocked over my coffee cup spilled coffee down the side of the nightstand, onto the bedspread, and onto my tennis shoes. Looks like I'm back at square one for All Things Pertaining to Graceful Adults Who Have Moved Past Awkward Teenage Phases of Life.